No Blaise: College Do Over

September 28th, 2010

Four years ago, I started my freshman year of college with two of my best friends and a boyfriend. Basically, I brought my social life with me from home.

When I got to be a senior, in what I thought would be my last year of college, I wondered what it would be like if I hadn’t started the way I did. You know, as if I’d just gone off to college by myself.

Then in the beginning of my fourth year I was accepted into the Creative Writing Track.


When I went to register for classes, I realized I’d have to extend my stay in college for another year to fill all the writing program’s requirements.

In other words, I was going to have to go back for a fifth year for the freshman-year do over I’d always wondered about.

Lucky me….

There’s tons of cool guys in college….

True, it wasn’t going to be just like my real freshman year. For instance, I’d ditched that boyfriend (a long story for another time) and my two best friends from high school — Anika and Hannah — would not be with me cause they had graduated on time.

Lucky them….

Talk about tough transitions. Not only had we spent four years together basically 24/7, we’d lived with, gone out with, and become completely obsessed with each other.

Over the summer we even worked at a camp together — everyday.

Attached at the hip….

That made leaving them behind for fifth year of college even harder.

All of that aside, I’m on a being-positive kick, as I tell myself it really won’t be bad and I run through all the different social-life combinations I’d be a part of.

I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine….

Move in day comes and goes, and I replant myself in college town. Only my writing program don’t start until January. So I’ll spend the next three months living on campus while working a full-time job at a day-care center in the so-called “baby room.”

The oldest kid in it being ten months old….

I go back to college, but all I see are babies….

After having worked there for a few weeks, I realize the hardest part of spending all day with six babies is that they can’t talk. They’re hungry? They scream. They’re tired? Scream. Happy? They make an excited noise that sounds a lot like screaming….

There’s no real reason to try to talk to them. Basically, they’re understanding level is sort of like a dog’s. It doesn’t matter what you say, but the tone with which you say it.

Say, “Who’s the dumbest baby in the whole wide world?” in the right tone and you’ll have them smiling at you like you just told the best joke ever.

Which leaves me looking crazy when I find myself laying on the floor with them having one-sided conversations for hours at a time.

When in Rome….

My first two weekends are pretty low-key. Weekend one I spent unpacking Weekend two I spent hunched over the toilet with stomach flu. I forget what happened on weekend three. And on weekend four, Hannah and Anika come to town.

Rock on….

I used to make fun of girls who make Facebook statuses about how excited they are cause – oh, my God, my friends gonna be in town!!!!

Can’t do that anymore. When Hannah calls to tell say they’re outside—which actually she wasn’t because she had somehow translated my texting her that my address was 922 into it being 806 so she was a block away—I screamed and ran that block to meet them barefoot. I looked like an escaped convict.


It’s gonna be a good year….

By No Blaise

Editor’s Note: The Third City welcomes back No Blaise! When we last heard from her, she was hanging with Shia Lebeouf….

One Response to “No Blaise: College Do Over”

  1. […] going into my third month at the good old day care center. And nothing has really […]

Leave a Reply:

Comments subject to approval--if we don't like it, we won't post it.

    • Archives