Jim Siergey: Thank You, Spam!

November 1st, 2018

I saw you in my spam folder and I just knew you were the one for me.

You misspelled words in the cutest way and your sentence structure would need an extra blackboard in order to be parsed. How cool! I really go for a non-conformist gal and you seem to fill the bill.

Oh, the promises you make! They were enough to make my libido explode. The inches, the girth, the stamina—OMG, girl, you make me so hot.

If you really know only a fraction of those secrets you mention, they’d be enough for me. I blush just thinking about it.

It’s not just your erotic nature that enthralls me but you seem to be a well-rounded woman and I don’t mean that in the physical sense (but I haven’t seen you so maybe you are, which would not be a deal breaker with me. You seem to be a lot of woman whether you are actually a lot of woman or not, if you know what I mean) but in all your other interests.

youvegotmailhanks

Hey, you’ve got spam…

 

Do you really have a plan to lower my mortgage payments? That sounds great as do your real estate and financial planning ideas . Your knowledge of vitamin usage and other health ideas just knock me out. Plus, you are familiar with royalty! How did you become friends with a Nigerian prince?

You sound absolutely fascinating!

I never really knew what was meant by spam. I knew it couldn’t be that canned pork-like meat because what would that have to do with computers? Since I found you in my spam folder I think I now know what spam stands for!

Special People And Marvels. S-P-A-M. You, dear lady, appear to be both. Although we’ve never met and, in fact, this is our first communication, I have a special sense and I sense you are special.

I saw you in my spam folder. As they say in the movies, this is a “cute meet “. What a story we can tell our children and grandchildren.

Oops! I’m jumping the gun, aren’t I? But you can tame me from being premature, can’t you? It is one of your claims.

So, dear Spammy (See, I’ve got a special name of endearment for you already) please respond to my email as soon as you can. I can’t wait to meet you.

Just think—in my folder of spam I have found a filet mignon. Yum!

 

Editor’s note: Jim’s last post for The Third City was Sister Sue

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