Jim Siergey: New Blue

October 7th, 2018

I recently bought a new pair of shoes (regular black leather ones) which is something I do every decade or so.

That rare activity of consumerism must have had a profound affect upon me because the next morning a cornucopia of words relating to footwear came tumbling out of my head. I decided to try and keep up with the subconscious barrage by jotting them down on disparate scraps of paper.

When your subconscious speaks, you listen. Am I right? So I wrote.

Now, with apologies to Mr. Perkins and all song lyricists everywhere, here’s this…

You can call my mother a Babylonian whore
You can nail 95 theses to my front door
You can do all that and a whole lot more
Cuz there’s only one thing that will make me sore

Now don’t you step on my blue suede shoes
You can do anything but stay offa my blue suede shoes

carlperkinsSorry, Carl…

You can comment on my ways and point out every error
You can don a suit of armor and begin a reign of terror

You can interrupt my wedding by kidnapping my ring bearer
You can scratch up all my records by the great Tom Lehrer

But don’t you step on my blue suede shoes
Know you can do anything but lay offa my blue suede shoes

You can bash a hole through my English Garden wall
You can pinch my cheeks so hard that I start to bawl
You can steal all my money and, brutha, that ain’t all
You can even be the mule kickin’ in my stall!
Just don’t you step on my blue suede shoes
They are the priority I choose
So stay the hell offa my blue suede shoes!

Blue, blue, blue suede shoes
Blue, blue, blue suede shoes
Blue, blue, blue suede shoes
Blue, blue
(ad infinitum)…

Y’know, for that matter, stay offa my black leather shoes too. Uh-huh.


Editor’s note: Jim’s last post for The Third City was Personal Annotator

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