Letter From Milo: Short and Sweet

October 3rd, 2009

This will be my last posting for a while. As I mentioned in earlier pieces, I’m taking a couple of weeks off for surgery. When I told Big Mike, the Barn Boss of this scabby, inept and flatulent outfit, that I needed some time off, he got mean and ugly.

“What kind of surgery did you say it was?”

“Heart surgery.”

“And you want two weeks off for something like that?”

“Maybe a little more. Depends on how recovery goes.”

“You’re being kind of selfish. Two weeks seems excessive.”

“Just following doctor’s orders.”

“Quit being a pussy. Benny Jay had brain surgery and a penile implant and he did it on his lunch hour.”

“Yeah, well, Benny’s tough.”

“Jon Randolph had every single one of his internal organs replaced with Teflon and styrofoam and he was back at his desk the next day.”

“Jon’s tough, too.

“Don’t expect me to hold your job for you. Writers are a dime a dozen. I’ve got a blog to run.”

“I figured.”

“And don’t expect any sick pay, either.”

“I wasn’t counting on it.”

“Other than that, good luck.”

“Thanks.”

“Bastard.”

“Prick.”

Now that I’ve told the Barn Boss that I’ll be absent for a couple of weeks, I’ll have to notify all of my favorite bartenders, drug dealers, bookies, waitresses, and pool room proprietors that I won’t be patronizing their establishments for a while. I’m sure they’ll understand.

That’s it for now. If there are any old hippies, freaks or New Agers out there, remember to send some good vibes in my direction on October 6th. Be talking to you soon.

Note:

In my absence the Editors are going to rerun a couple of my past blog postings. I hope they amuse, inform and offend you as much as they did the first time around.