Once again, The Third City would like to remind our esteemed readers that we only accept cash for our many products and services. No exceptions!
Having just completed its daily obligations, The Third City’s going to take a nap.
The Third City is saddened by the fact that after all these years of blogging we have yet to receive any fan mail. It’s enough to discourage the hardiest blogger.
The Third City’s now offering its loyal readers glossy, 8-by-10, autographed, suitable-for-framing photos of the editorial staff — for only $29.95. Plus shipping and handling.
The Third City can’t understand how a person can hold down a fulltime job, working 40 hours a week, and still not make enough money to pay for life’s basic necessities.
The Third City would like to apologize for slacking off on making wisecracks about Mark Zuckerberg. We promise to make fun of him a lot more in the future.
The Third City’s had its share of ups and downs, but we’ve had the good sense to stay away from uppers and downers.
If you’re depressed, it’s best to avoid….
The Three Mile Island Real Estate Co.: Plenty of fine properties available, including palatial river-front estates that have not been lived in since their previous owners had to leave town quick in 1979. Take your pick of any property for 50 bucks or best offer. Ask about our buy-one-lot-get one-lot-free-deal.
A wholly owned subsidiary of the Chernobyl Real Estate Trust!
The Third City Picks:
The Third City’s still howling with laughter over Soapdish, the 1990s comedy we watched last night.
Sally Field and Kevin Kline are hilarious!
The Third City Thought of the Day:
The Third City Headline News:
Marijuana-eating pigs become tasty pork roasts, Willie Nelson says: `It’s almost enough to make me stop being a vegetarian!’
Dumbass of the Week:
Tea Party Sympathizers, because….
They’re outraged by the IRS investigation of Tea Party groups who may be pretending to be non-political in order to enjoy tax exempt status. Every nickel the Tea Party — whose whole purpose is to attack Democrats — doesn’t pay in taxes, means more taxes that we have to pay. Nice going, Dumbasses.
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