Despite allegations by the FBI, CIA and KGB, The Third City swears up and down we had nothing to do with hacking the Democratic Party’s computers.
The Third City’s been up all night, leaning on a window sill.
The Third City’s very own Milo got his medical marijuana card in the mail today, so we don’t expect to hear from him for the next month or two.
It wasn’t easy, but after several hearings, two appeals, a minor scuffle and a hefty bribe, The Third City got its blogging license renewed for another year.
The Third City has always had its suspicions about our office microwave.
The Third City has always believed in keeping good hygiene. That’s why our corporate policy requires everyone to bathe at least once a week. No exceptions!
The Third City deeply regrets not taking Nelson Algren’s advice. We rue the day when we played poker with a guy named Doc, ate at a restaurant called Mom’s and slept with women that had more troubles than we did.
Nice day if it don’t rain…
The Third City’s Computer Hacking Academy–Hey, nerds! Have you always wanted to break into your girlfriend’s computer to confirm your suspicions about her cheating ways? If so, call us today, and, for only $19.99, we’ll send you our video on how to unlock someone’s computer, steal their vital information and generally make their lives a living hell.
References available in English and Cyrillic.
The Third City Picks:
The Third City mourns the passing of Jerry Krause, the general manager of the Chicago Bulls during their glory years.
No matter what you thought of Jerry, he was the guy who put those champion teams together.
The Third City Thought of the Day:
The Third City Headline News:
Ukraine bans Russia’s Entry to Eurovision Song Contest, Putin says, `Like I give a s**t!’
Dumbass of the Week:
Trump budget director, Mick Mulvaney, because…
The heartless bastard proposed to gut important social services that poor people really need on the grounds that it would save a few tax dollars for a single mom in Detroit. We all know it’s just an excuse to cut taxes on the wealthy. Nice going, Dumbass!
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