Benny Jay: Super Dog

I’m sitting in the living room, reading a book, when the fly buzzes in and lands on the blinds.

It’s sort of strange to have a fly in the house at this time of year — late autumn and all — and it’s really annoying to hear it buzzing about. But what’s really nuts is how Nicky, the dog, is reacting.

She looks up from her slumber. Rises from her bed. Creeps toward the window.

“Nicky,” I say. “What are you doing?”

She’s tracking the fly.

“What the fu….”

She launches. Crashes into the blinds. The fly buzzes off….

The fly lands on the other blinds. Nicky approaches. She waits. Gets her bearings. Surges….

Bzzz, the fly buzzes away.

Bam. Nicky crashes into the blinds.

“Nicky,” I say, “you can’t catch a fly….”

An hour passes. I go upstairs to check the Bulls score on the Internet. They beat the Timberwolves — in Minnesota!  I’m feeling all happy.

I go downstairs. My wife comes home. We’re in the kitchen. She’s reading the paper. I’m eating some yogurt.  “Good news,” I tell her. “The Bulls won….”

“That’s nice,” she says.

“Well, it’s only preseason — but a win’s a win….”

“Hmm,” she says.

The fly returns.

“What’s that?” asks my wife.

“The fly,” I say.

“The what?”

“The fly….”

“In October?”

“I know — weird, huh?”

The dog enters the kitchen. Oh, my god, she’s still tracking the fly!

“She’s relentless,” I say.

“Huh,” says my wife.

The fly lands on the handle to the cabinet where we keep the pots and pans. The dogs eyes are huge. She’s walking, like on tippy toes, toward the fly. My wife looks at me. I look at her.

Whoosh! The dog lunges at the fly. Bam. The dog slams into the drawer. Bzzz, the fly buzzes away.

“She’s trying to catch the fly?” asks my wife. “It’s like a National Geographic documentary….”

“It’s been going on all night,” I say.

“I think she stunned it….”

The fly’s flying slowly. The dog lunges. The fly disappears.

“Oh, my god,” says my wife. “I think she’s got it!”

“It’s under her paw,” I say.

Nicky’s got the fly pinned to the ground. I swear to God I hear the fly struggling to get out.

“The crazy dog’s gonna eat the fly,” I say.

The dog shoves the fly into her mouth and….Crunch!

I look at my wife. My wife looks at me.

“Was that a crunching sound?” I ask.

“Ugh!” exclaims my wife. “Disgusting….”

Nicky sits on the floor, licking her paws.

“She’s gonna throw up,” I say. “You gotta put her in the back. There’s no way a dog can eat a fly without throwing up.”

The dog looks up. Then goes back to licking her paws.

“And you know what the sickest part is?” I say. “The sickest part is that she really likes it….”

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