The Blackhawks Bandwagon

February 26th, 2013

On the 19th game of the hockey season, I decide to officially jump on the Blackhawks bandwagon.

I pay lots of attention to sports, but not hockey. I gave up on hockey years ago.

But this year’s team got off to a fabulous start, winning 18 games in a row.

Or, I should say they haven’t lost any of the 18 games they played. Apparently, in hockey — as opposed to every other sport I know — it’s possible to lose a game and still not completely lose it. At least, you get a point. As opposed to two points, which is what you get when you win.

I think it has something to do with shootouts. It’s confusing. So disregard everything I said, cause I probably got some of it wrong.

Anyway, I’m a bowling when I decide to jump on the bandwagon. The game’s on the TV and the joint’s packed with fans, many of whom have recently jumped on the bandwagon themselves.

Cause, let’s be honest, no one really gives a shit about hockey.

Well, that’s not true. My good friend, Norm, loves hockey. In fact, he’s pretty much the only guy I know who really loves hockey.

As opposed to Cap, who pretends he like it, when it’s obvious he doesn’t.

And J Dub who doesn’t even pretend anymore.

And Milo, who openly hates the game. Calls the players toothless, Canadian high school drop outs.


I thought his name was McElroy….


In honor of jumping on the bandwagon, I tell Norm that I will name five Blackhawks.

“All right, Benny,” he says.

I take a deep breath and go….

“Kane, Sharp, Toews and McElroy.”

“Who’s McElroy?” asks Norm.

“The goalie,” I say.

“His name’s not McElroy,” says Norm.

“Well, it’s something that sounds like that McElroy.”

“His name is Emery which doesn’t sound anything like McElroy.”

“Okay. Well, there’s the other goalie.”

“That doesn’t count — you need a name.”



I told you Duncan Keith had no teeth….


At which point,  Cap says: “Duncan Keith.”

Who’s not the other goalie, but I guess Cap just wanted to show us that he knew some of the guys on the team.

“Yes,” I say. “I know Duncan Keith. He got his teeth knocked out.”

“Doesn’t count, Benny — Cap already named him,” says Norm.

“But I shouldn’t I get some credit for knowing he has no teeth?”

“Lots of players don’t have teeth,” says Norm.

That’s true — hence, Milo’s wisecrack about the toothless Canadians. But I persist….

“I swear I remember when Keith Duncan lost his teeth.

“It’s Duncan Keith, not Keith Duncan,” says Norm.

Oh yeah — on top of everything else, I have a mild case of dyslexia which seems to be getting worse with age.

For instance, I’m currently struggling with the Dark and Zero parts of Zero Dark 30. In fact, at this very moment I can’t say for certain if it’s Dark Zero 30 or Zero Dark 30.

Good news! The Blackhawks win their game. That’s 19 in a row. Everyone at the bowling alley cheers. Except for me.

By then, I’d forgotten I had jumped on the bandwagon.

Clearly, these things take time.

8 Responses to “The Blackhawks Bandwagon”

  1. Todd says:

    At least they have a theme song with chorus lyrics you can’t mix up easily: “da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da” (repeat x infinity)

  2. Keith J Porter ( Cap ) says:

    Hey, Benny, I am no pretender. I am a Hawks fan. I have been since Bobby Hull. Can I count the number of entire games I have watched? Yes, but that’s not the issue. GO HAWKS!!!!!

  3. Benny Jay says:

    Todd: Good point. Easy-to-learn chorus lyrics are crucial for Blackhawk fans.

  4. Benny Jay says:

    Cap: If the Blackhawks had to rely on fans like you and me, they’d go out of business.

  5. Keith J Porter ( Cap ) says:

    Benny, if it was up to you, the City of Chicago would only have one team period. THE BULLS!

  6. Benny Jay says:

    Cap: Wait a minute. You mean, there’s more than one team in Chicago?

  7. Keith J Porter ( Cap ) says:

    That’s what I love about you, Benny Jay — you got jokes. LOL

  8. Benny Jay says:

    Cap: I’d trade `em all in for a decent jump shot!

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