With the Oscar nominations coming out today, we’re running Milo‘s interview with Benny Jay, the movie reviewer for The Third City.
Milo: Our readers want to hear your thoughts about this year’s Best Picture nominees, Benny. Let’s start with Armour — an exquisite film whose mysterious brilliance has an illuminating je ne sais quois.
Benny: I didn’t see it.
Milo: You didn’t see it?
Benny: Duh, Milo — it’s in French.
Milo: But they had English subtitles.
Benny: Dang, man — you didn’t tell me that.
Benny: For best actress, the Oscar should definitely go to Pam Grier.
Milo: Pam Grier?
Benny: She was sensational in Jackie Brown.
Milo: Benny — that film came out over 15 years ago.
Benny: I know. And it was an outrage she didn’t win it then. So they shouldn’t give the Oscar to any other actress until that wrong is righted.
Milo: You are an idiot!
Benny: For best supporting actor — Samuel Jackson, who plays Stephen, the house slave, in Django Unchained.
Milo: He wasn’t even nominated.
Benny: Are you fucking kidding me!
Milo: Didn’t you at least look at the list of nominees?
Benny: By the way, have you ever heard my Samuel Jackson imitation?
Milo: Please don’t.
Benny: It’s pretty good.
Milo: Not now.
Benny: “You gonna let that mutha fucka sleep in the big house.”
Benny: That’s from Django.
Milo: I don’t even think he actually said that.
Benny: How about this one? “I ain’t eat nothin’ that ain’t got sense enough to disregard its own feces.”
Milo: That’s not even from Django Unchained. That’s from Pulp Fiction.
Benny: Another great flick!
Milo: Oh, god.
Benny: As long as I’m doing imitations, how `bout this one? “I am the motherfucking shore patrol, motherfucker! I am the motherfucking shore patrol! Give this man a beer!”
Milo: That’s not from Pulp Fiction or Django Unchained.
Benny: I know — it’s Jack Nicholson from The Last Detail.
Milo: The Last Detail?
Benny: I love that movie!
Milo: It was made almost 40 fucking years ago!
Benny: Robert Towne wrote the script.
Milo: You’re an idiot.
Benny: A lot of people don’t know this, but Towne’s real name is Robert Bertram Schwartz.
Milo: Okay, I’ve had enough.
Benny: “Thank you, Stephen. Oh, you’re welcome, Calvin.”
Benny: Samuel Jackson — from Django.
Milo: That’s it.
Benny: Wait. One more. “Man, you must be out of your fuckin’ mind if you think I’m gonna get in this dirty-ass trunk.”
Milo: We really got to wrap this up.
Benny: That’s Chris Tucker from Jackie Brown. Pretty good, huh?
Milo: That’s all, folks.
Benny: Hey, I got to go too, man. Got to see Django.
Milo: But you already saw it twice.
Benny: I know. Just 98 more viewings to go before it catches Jackie Brown.
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