Benny Jay: One Man Book Club

September 12th, 2017

This bit’s from the September 6th show. If you want to hear it, click right here

 

So the other day, I’m walking down the street and I’m talking to myself. Saying something like this.

Damien as me, in British accent: Michael Connelly is the master of the universe in which he lives—the sphere of crime fiction.

This is not as strange as it sounds. Though, now that I think about it—it’s pretty freaking strange.

Damien: His tales are disturbing yet cathartic. Like a mental enema.

The thing is I read a lot of books. But I don’t have people to talk to them about. Well, there’s my wife. But she’s reading her own books. And she doesn’t want to hear me going on and on about mine.

Damien, as the real me: So the one guys sneaks into the other guy’s house and he chops him up with an axe, man.

Laura: That’s nice. You don’t mind if I’m not really listening.

A lot of people tell me I should join a book club. But, I don’t know. That seems like a lot of trouble. So I created the Ben Book Club. It has one member. Me. and late at night I walk by myself and talk about the books that I’m reading. It’s freaking out the dog.

Dennis as Nicky, the dog: Dude, this is weird.

Damien in British accent: Connelly’s latest is a swift, unpredictable thriller.

Dennis as Nicky: Dude, you need help.

davidniven

I sorta sound like David Niven…

 

Sometimes I pretend I’m being interviewed by a radio host who sounds like Laura Vaughn.

Laura with British accent: So, tell me, Ben, if I were to look on your night stand, what books would I find?

Oh, yeah, everyone has a British accent.

Damien with British accent: Well, Laura, it’s funny you should ask. Lately, I’ve been reading Gabriel Tallent’s astoundingly brilliant debut novel—My Absolute Darling.

Laura, with British accent: My god, that novel’s the talk of the town.

Anyway, the other night I was walking and talking about My Absolute Darling, when…

Dennis as neighbor: Ugh, Ben? Is that you?

Oh, no—it’s Henry. My neighbor.

Damien, as me: Oh, what up, Henry?

I didn’t see him coming down the street cause I was so busy talking to myself.

Dennis: Who were you talking to?

Damien, as me: Oh, I was, you know, just on my cell phone.

Dennis, as neighbor: That’s good. I thought you’d gone nutty on us.

I waited for Henry to disappear into his house and then I picked up where I left off.

Damien:I think continually of those who are truly great.

Laura, in English accent: Really, Ben, your insights are inspiring.

The best part about being in a one-man book club is that you’re always the smartest guy in the room.

 

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