Benny Jay: Happy Thanksgiving!

November 24th, 2010

As part of my strategy to get fabulously rich by blogging, I’ve created a Twitter account.

It’s called thethirdcity….

Just like the blog. Get it? Is this a great strategy or what?

To be accurate, I didn’t create the Twitter account – Sol. did.

Sol.’s one our regular bloggers, who writes about the funny and/or tragic things he sees in his job as an orderly in a local ER.  If you ask me, it’s just as good, if not better, than the TV show.

Sol.’s way cooler than George Clooney….

Sol. and his friend Pablo – who knows more about social networking than any man this side of Zuckerberg – came to my house and explained that to get new readers we absolutely, positively had to open a Twitter account.

Milo was there too, though I don’t think he knew what the hell they were talking about.

Why do I say that? Cause after they left, Milo said: “Benny, what the hell were they talking about?”

This may be as good a time to remind you that I’ve launched this Internet enterprise with two guys who don’t know shit about the Internet. It’s a little like going into the auto repair business with two guys who don’t know how to drive a car.

In retrospect, I may not have made the wisest choice in partners, though, in my defense, Zuckerberg was busy.

But back to Twitter….

We’ve been on it for five days and we’re up to – hold it, let me look — six followers. Which is down from the eight we had the last time I looked.

We may be the only Twitter account in America that’s losing followers. If this keeps up, we won’t have any followers – except for Sol.

As you can see, I’m not really getting this Twitter thing, and my Third City partners aren’t much help.

The boys at Third City just want to say: Happy Thanksgiving!

When I called Milo and told him he had to make Twitter posts, he said, “Fuck that. You don’t see Zuckerberg fucking with that Twitter shit….”

“He doesn’t have to,” I said. “He invented Facebook…”

“Oh, yeah – good point….”

Where else but the Third City do you get such interesting insights about the Internet?

By the way, Big Mike’s just as bad as Milo. For months, he insisted that  Milo and I get on Facebook to build readership.

Then as soon as we get on Facebook, he gets off. Says it’s beneath him to request friends – or even accept requests to be friends – “cause most of the stuff people write on Facebook is stupid.”

Hey, Mike – it’s Facebook. What did you expect – Shakespeare?

Wait. Phone’s ringing. It’s Milo. “Hey, Benny – about that Twitter thing….”

“Yeah….”

“Throw up some porn….”

“Porn?”

“Yeah, people love porn….”

“I’m not sure Twitter works for porn, Milo. They only give you 140 characters….”

“Oh….”

Pause.

“Well, give them a good dick joke,” he says. “People love a good dick joke….”

Ugh, okay. Well, I think you’ll agree — with partners like this, it may take a  while to get rich. But, I won’t complain. I learned long ago to be thankful for the friends I’ve got. And Milo and Big Mike have been my friends for – get ready for this — almost thirty years.

Wow!

And while I’m on the subject of thanks. On behalf of the boys, I’d like to wish a big, ol’ Third City Happy Thanksgiving to our talented bloggers and faithful readers – including you six followers on Twitter.

Peace….

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