Benny Jay: Give It Away

July 13th, 2017

This bit’s from the July 10th show. If you want to hear it, click right here


We’re calling this—hope it doesn’t give it away, Monday. And here’s why…

For the last few days, my wife and I have been watching a British TV show called Broadchurch. It’s the one about two detectives in a British seaside town who figure out a murder. It’s kind of like an Agatha Christie mystery, where all the suspects are paraded before you at the start. Sort of like the opening song in Beauty and the Beast.

Laura, singing: Tale as old as time–true as it can be…

No, not that Beauty and the Beast song.

Laura, singing: There goes the baker with his tray like always.

Yeah, that one.

Doris, singing: The same old bread and rolls to sell.

Dennis, singing:  Every morning just the same, since the morning that we came, to this poor provincial town.

Don’t you just love it when Dennis sings? Anyway, as this is a British town, everyone speaks with British accents. So you have one detective who’s a woman.

Laura in British accent: I’ll get to the bottom of this rubbish.

BroadchurchcastThey’re all weird in Broadchurch…


And another who’s a reporter.

Doris in British accent: There’s a bloody story here…

And they have dialogues like this…

Laura: Are you religious?

Dennis: Yeah. I pray every night you’ll stop asking me questions.

Don’t you just love it when Dennis does a British accent?

The whole point is to figure out which character committed the murder. Is it the news agent, with the sordid past?

Dennis as news agent: I can’t help it if I’m a bloody weirdo.

Or the weird lady who lives in the trailer park.

Laura as weird lady: Ah, you can kiss my bloomin’ arse.

Or, gasp, the sister…

Doris, singing: I could have danced all night.

Oh, wait, sorry that’s from a different show with British accents. Anyway, I don’t want to say anything that might give away the ending. Cause I hate when people give away the endings. In fact I remember one time my father came home from seeing Sleuth many years ago.

Me: Hey, dad, how was the movie?

Dennis: Great. And what’s amazing is there are only two actors in it.

Then I went to see Sleuth. Halfway through I realized by telling me there were only two actors, my dad gave away the ending. As a matter of fact I just realize that by telling you how he gave away the ending I just gave away the ending.

Sorry, about that. Anyway, back to Broadchurch. I’ll tell you what one character said…

Laura, in British accents: It’s always the mate you least suspect.

Hope it doesn’t give it away.

Leave a Reply:

Comments subject to approval--if we don't like it, we won't post it.

  • Guest Blogger:

    • Triple A Bail Bond Company–President’s Day Special! Did you get drunk, do something stupid and get your dumbass thrown in jail, protesting the current president? If so, give us a call, and we’ll have you back out on the street giving Comrade Trump the finger in no time at all.


      Sensitive to the needs of miscreants since the first Bush Administration. 

    • The Third City urges everyone to see Last Flag Flying, a great anti-war movie that also happens to be really funny.


      Bryan Cranston, Laurence Fishburne and Steve Carell all deserve Oscars.

    • The Third City was wondering when the good people of the USA decided they could tolerate the slaughter of their children.

    • jesuschristsuperstar
      Hungarian leader calls Christianity `Europe’s last hope,’ Jesus says, `Don’t drag me into this!’

    • The NRA, because…


      In the aftermath of another mass shooting at an American school, the gun group continues to oppose any sensible gun regulations. Nothing more need be said. Nice going, Dumbasses!

    • Archives