Benny Jay: Dog Crazy « The Third City

Benny Jay: Dog Crazy

January 28th, 2010

The last time I wrote about dogs I got myself in a heap of trouble, so you’d figure I’d know better then to write about them again.

If you recall, I recounted my showdown with a neighbor who got upset cause my dog crapped on his lawn, even though I cleaned it up and everything.

After that blog bit ran, Big Mike – the Barn Boss himself – sent me an email to proclaim that he was 100 percent behind my neighbor.

Thanks, pal.

As far as Big Mike’s concerned, dogs should not crap or pee on lawns. They should either do their business in alleys or not do it at all. Big Mike’s sort of tough about these things — that’s why we call him the Barn Boss.

“How would you like if it I came over to your house, pulled down my pants and took a big, steaming dump right on your lawn?” Big Mike asked me.

After I managed to get that image out of my mind – and, trust me, it wasn’t easy – I wrote back:

“So long as you cleaned up after yourself, I really can’t complain. Though my neighbors might be upset.”

Still, he had a point. Dog lovers are so infatuated with their dogs they think they can do no wrong. I’m reminded of this by a picture I saw on my friend Eric‘s Facebook page. His dog, Daisy, is lying on the sofa looking like the Queen of Sheba.

Of course, it’s hard for me to criticize Eric for pampering Daisy cause even as I write this my dog is lying on my bed, licking her paws and occasionally looking up as if to say – hey, when you gonna feed me!

I should kick that mangy cur off my bed. But all I can say is — aw, what a good, wittle doggie.

Reminds me of the time my parents, my daughters and I took, Muttle, their old Dalmatian, for a walk along the lake. Another dog – off the leash, in violation of the leash law, I might add – ran over and attacked Muttle. Bad move. Muttle was one tough Dalmatian. By the time my father had dragged him back, the other dog was bleeding.

Figured that would be the end of it since the other dog had 1.) been off the leash, in violation of the leash law, and 2.) started the fight in the first place.

But, no, the other dog owner actually took my parents to court. Tried to make them pay her veterinarian bills and maybe even have Muttle put to death for being a menace to other dogs who attack him while running off the leash. By the way, did I mention that the other dog was violating the leash law?

We wound up before a judge in a courthouse in Skokie. The judge called my older daughter — then all of eight years old — to the stand to describe what she had seen.

“The other dog attacked Muttle,” she said.

“Muttle?” asked the judge.

“That’s our dog’s name….”

“Oh….”

After my older daughter finished, it was my younger daughter’s turn.

“How old are you?” asked the judge.

“Four,” said my younger daughter.

“Hmm,” the judge replied. “I think we can do without your testimony today.”

Somehow or other the case dragged on to another hearing before a different judge in another courtroom out in Skokie.

“So let me get this straight,” this judge said, after scanning the complaint. “Two dogs had a fight?”

“Yes, your honor,” said the complaining dog owner.

“Was your dog killed?”