Benny Jay: Computer Meltdown

On Wednesday, my computer breaks. Not sure why. It doesn’t tell me. We don’t have that kind of relationship.

Truth is — I know next to nothing about this machine. I mainly just use it to type stuff.

Not knowing what else to do, I turn to my wife. Cause, young people, that’s what marriage is for!

She says go to Staples. Cause that’s what I did the last time my computer broke.

So I take it to Staples and leave it with a techie named Eric, who calls back to say…

“Your IC’s bloated.”

To which I say…

“Oh — the IC.”

Like I know what an IC is.

And he says….

“I could fix it, but it would cost too much money — you might as well buy a new computer.

 Todd sort of looks like this….

 

I decide to buy a new computer. Well, actually, not buy a new computer. But take the new computer that my wife had purchased months ago and stored in the basement.

Till then I didn’t even know we had a relatively new computer in the basement. But….

Eric says he can move the files from my old computer into the new one.

Well, why not!

Fast forward to Monday night bowling. I’m telling this tale to Todd and Greg — two 30-something year-olds who bowl for the all mighty Cobra Kais.

Not that that’s relevant to this story.

“My computer’s broken, so I’m making do on my wife’s computer until it gets fixed,” I explain. “It’s the IC….”

“The IC?” asks Todd.

“Yeah, the IC — it’s bloated.”

 

I wish she was the computer salesperson….

 

Todd looks at Greg. Greg looks at Todd. They both look at me and Todd says.

“What’s an IC?”

“You never heard of an IC?” I ask.

You know — like I’d heard of it.

“No,” says Todd.

“Well, maybe I got it wrong and it’s really an IT,” I say.

“Benny — I never heard of that either,” says Todd.

“Have you heard of an IC?” he asks Greg.

“No,” says Greg.

I’m like — shit, did Eric just make this up?

So I run home to tell my wife and guess what? In the time between leaving the house and coming home, her computer broke!

So now we’re a house without a computer.

Don’t have cable either — but that’s another story.

Big decision time.  Do I trust Eric? Or do I take the computer somewhere else cause there’s something suspicious about a man who talks about a bloated IC?

I decide to go with Eric. WTF — he seems like a nice guy. Besides, maybe I got it wrong and he said ID.

I end up buying a bunch of software which will be obsolete in a matter of months. Cause the whole freaking industry is dedicated to selling us shitty stuff that will be obsolete almost as soon as we buy it. No wonder Bill Gates is so rich.

The good news is I have a working computer. The bad news is that I’m dependent on technology I don’t understand.

Happy typing.

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