Benny Jay: Ben Gordon’s Sidekick

August 11th, 2009

At about three in the morning, I’m just drifting off to sleepy land, when my older daughter and her friends come tromping in from Lollapalooza.

They’re banging and clanging, like the troops coming home — slamming doors, carrying on some inane argument. Don’t know what it’s about, nor do I care. All I know is this — I had been sleeping. And now I’m not.

Worse — within ten minutes, they’re sound asleep and I’m wide awake. And I have to get up really early to drive across the state to visit my cousin.

Aw, fu….!

I stumble downstairs, flop on the couch and open a book….

Fast forward three hours. I’m half asleep, staggering around the kitchen, searching for a cup of coffee. My older daughter gets up early to say she’s really, really, really sorry.

“Look, I got up early just to tell you that,” she says.

Yeah, like she’s not going right back to bed as soon as I leave. I figure I’ll play this guilt trip thing a little longer.

“You know how hard it is for me to get back to sleep….”

“I’m so sorry,” she says. Pause. “By the way, did I tell you I saw Joakim Noah at Lollapalooza?”

Ooh, slick move — diverting me with some Bulls talk. She knows I’m weak for Bulls talk — especially in the long off-season months of summer.

Stay strong, I tell myself — don’t be manipulated.

“You know how much I really need sleep,” I tell her, ignoring the Bulls bait.

“Did I tell you I know a girl who knows Joakim Noah?”

I can’t help myself. I’m weak. I go for the bait.

“Who?”

“Some girl….”

“I don’t believe you….”

“I’ll show you on Facebook….”

She walks to the computer and goes to Facebook and, sure enough, there’s a picture of this girl with Joakim Noah.

“Wow,” I say.

My daughter sits back, looks at her fingernails, and tries not to gloat — like she’s da’ shit.

“And — this other girl I know is dating Ben Gordon’s sidekick.”

“Ben Gordon’s sidekick?”

“He’s like the assistant who drives for him or something — I really don’t know what he does….”

I pause to wonder what exactly does Ben Gordon’s sidekick does — laugh at his jokes, tell him: “you the man” — and how did he get the job?

Anyway, fast forward even further to the end of the day. I’m sitting around the living room with my older daughter and her friends, talking about — you guessed it — Joakim Noah, Ben Gordon and Ben Gordon’s sidekick.

“The girl told me that Ben Gordon’s sidekick can get her tickets to Bulls games.”

“Dang,” I say. “I’d like tickets to a Bulls games….”

“Yes, and she said that he even introduced her to Ben Gordon….”

“Wow,” I say.

I mean, is this a great conversation or what?

“Okay, so one more time — how did they meet?” I ask.

My daughter and her friends launch into the story. I sit back and take it all in.

Okay, okay — it’s not me and Milo or me and Norm going on and on about Bulls versus Boston. But, hey, it’s the off-season — I gotta take what I can get.