No Blaise: Life Alert #2000

October 12th, 2016

Here’s another life alert you’ve heard before: I joined a gym. I have done this before, and definitely written about it, yes. We all know how much I celebrate extremely small victories via this blog. As well as gigantic tragedies.

And this gym membership might turn into one of those gigantic tragedies, but for now it’s a win.

Signed up on Sunday, went to a class Tuesday, almost went to a class tonight. I am on a rollllllll. The only reason I didn’t go to “Live DJ Spin” tonight is because I’m still at work, and using the writing of this blog as a “break”. So, that’s what my day was like.

Last night I went to a very beginners yoga stretch class and it was magic. My back hurts today, mostly because I think my spine has been clicked back together for the first time in years.

Since I’m a hard working teacher, the gym allowed me to pay a nice price for an “all-access” pass to their gyms. This means I can to all the gyms that they have throughout the city. They’ve got one in the west loop with a sauna/spa that I plan on using when I feel fancy.

“Excuse me, I need a steam. I’m here all the time.”

This gym membership seems like a good step towards adulthood, first and foremost because I’m paying for it by myself. I was also offered some personal training sessions for a relatively low price and I responded, “Ok, maybe!?” to which my 23 year old self would’ve said, “No thanks, I just want to go on the elliptical for 45 minutes and expect extreme results. Have tacos for dinner, bye!”

I have even considered going to a spin class tomorrow morning at 6am. I think it’ll probably go about as well as my getting to work early did. Spoiler: I did not get to work early this morning.

But, you never know.


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No Blaise: C+

September 28th, 2016

C is for Vitamin C, the only reason I’m able to type this post right now. As many of you probably imagined my little students are basically germ dispensaries and I’m their #1 customer. This latest strain, it was a doozy.

It started out very “Oh this is definitely just allergies, definitely not sick.” then it quickly and quietly moved into “Oh wait this is allergies, but I’m also sick. Real sick.”

I was the kind of sick where you have no idea where you are at any time, and concentrating on anything is essentially impossible. So, guess what was planned for the peak day of my sickness? A field trip.

Hello children.

The bus ride was a bus ride, I am never able to describe rides on a school bus as anything other than “it was a ride on a school bus.” By some gift of Yeezus I had 4 chaperones show up, so each of us only had to be in charge of four children. This made the field trip pretty easy breezy, the hardest part being me trying to stay put in reality while holding baby chicks and  riding around on little trains with my first graders after consuming a near lethal dose of cold medicine.

The next day, as you may have guessed, I stayed home sick. I did have to return at night for the Open House to scare all the parents in my classroom into volunteering by having them look at my red and disoriented face. “Hello parents and guardians of my students, please help.”

When my Assistant Principal finally found me, she took one look at me and was like, “Ok, you need some vitamin C.” to which I sort of shrugged it off like, “Lol yeah probably.” to which she responded, “No, I haven’t been sick in years because of vitamin C, get some.” and then I went and bought a large bottle of 1000mcg Vitamin C.

And boy do I feel better today. That wasn’t sarcastic, I seriously feel so much better today. All my loyal followers know what that means: I am about to talk about Vitamin C to everyone I know like they never knew that Vitamin C was good for your immune system.

This is news, right?

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No Blaise: Teacher Tastes

September 14th, 2016

Since my last food post, I’ve been doing better in terms of not eating fried food every single day. I probably haven’t had a french fry for a few days actually, go me!

I’ve been cooking dinner semi-regularly for the past few days and then eating leftovers for lunch. Once I had gone out to dinner and ate every bite on my plate so I had no left overs and so had a banana for lunch the next day. It could’ve been worse.

My daily eating routine has become:

Waking up, making coffee and a english muffin with peanut butter. Then, eating the english muffin subconsciously while driving and sipping coffee every two hours and usually leaving about half of it left in the thermos. Another fun game I play with my coffee thermos is continuously leaving it somewhere in the class room and then squinting while turning in circles looking for it until one my students begrudgingly says, “It’s right there.”

Around lunch time, which on Tuesday is at 10:15, I will hopefully have left overs or some other sustainable food to put into my body. If not, a banana will be fine. Whatever food I have gets piled into my mouth as I walk around the school looking for someone to ask them a question, or I spend it mindlessly eating at my  desk.

Since I live at school, I’ll have an afterschool snack to make sure I make it through the 3ish hours I’ll spend sitting at my desk wondering what else I could be doing to get ready for the next day. This is where my new lara bar obsession has bloomed. Everyday around 4 I’ll have my daily lara bar. If you don’t already know, lara bars are this amazing fruit and nut bar creation that come in a bunch of flavors. When I originally started, I thought I’d stick to the same few flavors. My comfort zone, if you will. Upon eating them however, I decided I would make it my mission to try as many flavors as sounded good to me. Which essentially means I’m going to try all of them because we all know I will eat basically anything.

My drive home is spent hoping I have the energy to get out of the car and make dinner. Once I get home I usually get that weird hallucinatory burst of energy and somehow manage to make dinner and drink half a bottle of wine. Then I’m in bed by 10pm, the latest, and pass out immediately.

Then my alarm goes of at 5:30am, and my eating routine begins again. Oh, and there’s some teaching of children sprinkled in.

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No Blaise: Livin la Vida Grade 1

September 7th, 2016

Hi all, if you’re reading this it means I’m still alive. I’m confirming this because if you haven’t heard, teaching is hard work. Even if you’re teaching the worlds cutest first graders, it can still get challenging. I’ve only been in it for 1.5 days but I can confirm that it is both wonderful and difficult.

I’m already very in love with my students and so many of them are so excited to learn. Some of them want to play with crayons in their desk while I’m talking or act like they can’t hear me for 3/4 of the day. But, who can blame them, right?

I’d rather draw in my desk than listen to me talk all day, too.

These last 1.5 days have taught me all about why people can’t think of teaching as an occupation and have to treat it as a vocation and a life work. If I walked into my first grade classroom everyday ready to punch the clock right at 3 and forget about everything that happened to me in the day, I would’ve run out half way through yesterday crying.

These kids don’t fit into molds. None of them are the same. I could never wander into this room, talk at them all day, and then walk out emotionless. You have to walk in everyday being willing to be driven completely insane with a smile on your face. More importantly, it’s knowing that a kid who falls asleep at this desk isn’t lazy and a kid who doesn’t understand the question isn’t stupid. They’re tired, and they’re confused.

Basically, they’re me everyday. But I love it so much, it’s ok.

Nora + Teaching = 4ever (I hope)

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No Blaise: Garbage Disposal

August 31st, 2016

Though the name might’ve fooled you, this post will not be about the garbage disposal in my sink at home that consistently breaks. Sorry to disappoint. It will, however, be all about the food I’ve been cramming into my pie hole the last few months.

And, boy oh boy, was it a lot of food.

With this new job I have, I know that I’m going to start eating correctly again in order to not go into a food coma every 15 minutes, which is what I spent my summer doing. I have literally been on a marathon of cheeseburgers, quesadillas, and beer. I am filled 50/50 with cheese & bread products.

Let me not make the mistake of you all thinking that I’m complaining about this summer body diet. I am not. I loved every cheesey, fried, bready moment. But being a teacher means being unable to take a nap in the middle of the day and so I need to find a way to eat that doesn’t put me to sleep, as unsatisfying as that sounds.

For those of you that have been reading my posts for awhile will know that I’m a fan of diet experimenting. I’ve cleansed, I’ve gone gluten-free, I’ve been a vegetarian, and I’ve eaten McDonalds at 2am more than once a week.

What I’m looking for next is a happy balance between juice cleanse and burger addict. I want to feel happy and energized while also eating things I like to eat. Unfortunately, these things rarely work together in harmony. Let’s add on top of this wanting to be a #healthygirl with #extremestress. I don’t know about you guys, but when I’m stressed I either eat nothing or everything. This week has been a strange mix of that in that I’ll eat something while essentially comatose driving to school, then remember I’m hungry around 4 and eat whatever I can get my hands on, then have a Lara Bar for dinner. Somewhere in there I’ll eat a banana in the hopes that it’ll boost me energy, and when I get home at night I’ll put cheese on something and eat it.

Moral of this blog: Help me / Feed me

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No Blaise: #HireMe

August 17th, 2016

Just as I was about to achieve a real following with #HireMe, I get #Hired. What kind of luck is that?

Incredibly good luck, that’s what that is.

I went on two interviews on Monday, and got a call from the second school I interviewed at yesterday morning saying that they wanted your girl to teach First Grade. My response? Uh, OKAY. I think my actual response to the principal was more exasperated because she had to ask me, “Is that a yes?” to which I replied, “Yes.”

I spent the rest of yesterday texting a lot of people, “I got a job!” which I’m sure was a nice switch up from my usual, “I don’t have a job.”

In complete seriousness though, I am so fucking excited. As a first year teacher, it feels huge that in two weeks I am going to be in my own classroom with my own group of amazing students teaching them how to love themselves and education. I get to teach them things! And be with them all day! And try to make sure that they’re little lives are as happy and productive as possible! YESSSS!

Sure I’m overwhelmed that school is two weeks away and I still have to go through all the HR stuff and then get into my classroom. But what I’m really overwhelmed about? Decorating my class.

How will I arrange desks? Who should sit with you? How much color is too much color? Where should I put the job chart? Where do I put anything?

My Pinterest page for “Grade 1” is filled to the brim right now.

(Almost) Ready for you, little ones.

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No Blaise: Trippin

August 10th, 2016

I’m now back in the Midwest after a couple days in Colorado. I hiked, I went to a farmers market, I walked my dog around, I drank, and I ate so much food. I was a very good white person in CO.

It was a lovely time of sleeping in and doing all of the above activities. But all good things must come to an end, and here I am, back in reality.

Jimmy & I drove because we’re adventurous like that, so we didn’t get in til about 2am this morning despite leaving CO at 9am yesterday. Being unemployed and everything, you’d think this wouldn’t be a big deal. I can just sleep it off, right?

Unfortunately, no. First of all, I have some nasty stomach and back pain that pretty much rendered me useless the entire ride home and then an uncomfortable mess once I was in my own bed. After heavily medicating myself, I got some sleep, but had the pleasure of having to get up this morning in order to attend a CPS career fair.

The “Hire Me” journey continues.

So, this morning around 9 I shook myself awake, with the help of an alarm. After figuring out where I was, got in the shower, put on some make-up, a dress, and walked the dog as I had an unexpected phone interview with a principal.

Unexpected phone calls that turn into interviews have become a very regular part of my routine.

I head to the career fair with 20 resumes and a head full of fog. Upon arrival, I see about a bajillion school booths advertising the positions they’ve got available.


My brain clears up every so often so that I can talk to principals and hand out resumes. I don’t necessarily remember any of the words I used while talking to the various staff members, but I had people write their names down in my notebook and say that they’d call me for an interview, so some of the words must’ve been good.

I’ve got three interviews tomorrow, so I’ll be going to sleep in about two hours so that I’m rested up and back to complete sentences.

Fingers crossed.

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