• Guest Blogger:

  • Jim Siergey

    

    In the halls of justice, time stands still…

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• • The Third City’s Grooming Products for Men — Porn Star Mustache Trimmer! Have you always wanted a sleazy porn star mustache but couldn’t afford expensive salon visits? If so, for only $19.99, TTC’s high-quality mustache trimmer will have you looking like Ron Jeremy and Harry Reems in no time at all!

    

    Order today and get a package of extra-large condoms — free!!

• The Third City Picks:

• • The Third City urges everyone to read Prison Baby by Deborah Jiang Stein, a brave and important memoir about an adopted child who discovers she was born in prison.

    

    Once we started reading, we couldn’t stop.

• The Third City Thought of the Day:

• • The health and safety of our readers is of paramount concern to The Third City. That’s why we, once again, would like to remind our loyal fans to avoid the brown acid.

• The Third City Headline News:

• • 

    Birmingham, Alabama named `worst city for pot smokers,’ Willie Nelson says, `I always knew that place was a s**thole!’

• Dumbass of the Week:

• • To U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham for beating the war drums regarding Russia’s takeover of the Crimea, because…

    

    The Ukraine and Russia have been at each other’s throats since the 15th century, and you want to gear us up for war just to score points against President Obama? We’ll believe you’re sincere when we see you do the fighting. Nice going, Dumbass!

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