Grabowski
“I’m not much a beach guy, but…”
The Third City’s Do-It-Yourself Body Piercing Kit: Have you always wanted to be one of those cool cats who covers his body with piercings, but you were too broke to afford the procedure? If so, give us a call, and, for only $19.99, we’ll send you our complete kit which includes knitting needles, safety pins, needle-nosed pliers, and plenty of sand paper.
Order today and we’ll send you a pint of Old Crow to help kill the pain–free!
The Third City Picks:
The Third City urges everyone in Chicago to get on over to the Music Box Theater to see What We Do in the Shadows, a hilarious fake documentary from New Zealand about vampires.
But you better hurry up, cause it’s only going to be there for another week or so.
The Third City Thought of the Day:
The Third City’s editorial board may be dirty old men now, but there was once a time when we were dirty, young men.
The Third City Headline News:
Critics blast Capt. Kirk for missing Mr. Spock’s funeral, Sulu says, `F**k those two guys, I carried them for years!’
Dumbass of the Week:
The Republican members of congress, because…
They’re still trying to repeal Obamacare, taking away health insurance from millions of Americans. What have they got against the average Joe having access to healthcare. Nice going, Dumbasses!
