• Guest Blogger:

  • Jim Siergey

    

    “She asked if I wanted to keep the hair on my ears…”

• 

• 

• • The Third City’s Tax Preparation Service: Hey, suckers, have Comrade Trump’s new tax laws got you confused? If so, our tax preparation specialist will drop by to help you make sense of the new regulations. He’ll drink your beer, smoke your reefer and raid your refrigerator. When’s he’s done, you’ll still be broke, but you’ll feel real good.

    

    Helping the wealthy fleece the poor since the Herbert Hoover administration.

• The Third City Picks:

• • Ramsey Lewis was sensational at the Chicago Jazz Festival.

    

    Playing before the hometown in crowd.

• The Third City Thought of the Day:

• • Despite all the hate mail The Third City has received, we still maintain that Tito was the most talented of the Jackson 5.

• The Third City Headline News:

• • 

    Congressman uses clout to get partner’s son out of heroin bust, William Burroughs says, `He’s got my vote!’

• Dumbass of the Week:

• • Rick Santorum, because…

    

    The former Republican senator suggested school kids should learn CPR as a defense against school shootings. Nothing more needs be said. Nice going, Dumbass!

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