Jim Siergey
“We don’t speak Chicago, only English…”
The Third City’s Do-It-Yourself Tattoo Removal Kit: Do you regret getting drunk and having your ex-wife’s name tattooed all over your body? If so, for only $19.99, TTC will send you our deluxe Tattoo Removal Kit that comes equipped with sand paper, steel wool, an X-acto knife, 1 pint of battery acid and a battle of extra-strength Bayer Aspirin.
Order today and get our self-suturing kit — free!
The Third City Picks:
The Third City plans to be first in line when the James Brown biopic opens this weekend…
We just know when we see it, we’re gonna feel good!
The Third City Thought of the Day:
After living in Chicago for a long, long time, The Third City’s concluded that it’s always a good thing to have an alderman in your pocket.
The Third City Headline News:
Jon Stewart wants to start Kickstarter campaign to raise $10b to buy CNN, The Third City immediately kicks in a buck and a half!
Dumbass of the Week:
Mitt Romney, because…
He’s considering another presidential run. Dude, the voters have already rejected you twice. Can’t you take a hint? Nice going, Dumbass!
